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happyjen85
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Name: Jenn
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Jose
Birthday: 9/30/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: being a good kid. as long as it's convenient...non-creepy peopleways to turn everyday food items into a vaginamom jokesand inventive ways to push the girls up and out.
Expertise: food... in my belly. how to make a kickass meal in 10 minutes or less. or a better one in 30. how to service your mom. double jointed... elbows! and a long tongue.
Occupation: restaurant and bar slave.
Industry: kiss asses and drunks
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  happyjen85
Member Since:
7/23/2002
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| yep, i'm cooking another one! very excited. our family friends from socal are coming up for a graduation, so my family decided to have another huge thanksgiving-like dinner. sucks that it's right before the bulk of my finals, and that i'm cooking the entire thing myself, but whatev.
this is what i'm making!
12 POUND TURKEY- in my showtime rotisserie, which is only the best birthday gift EVAR! when we made it for actual thanksgiving, the bird was so tender and juicy. i'm gonna go simple and season it with the basic salt and pepper, plus chopped rosemary and lemon juice. it'll get a spray of olive oil once it starts rotating.
FOUR 5 POUND POTROASTS - slabs of chuck roast seasoned with salt, pepper and cayenne, heavily seared then braised with onions, garlic, rosemary, thyme, and cabernet.
HORSERADISH MASHED POTATOES - mashed by hand and not whipped, ensuring little bits of potato are left in the mix.
SPICY BAKED CORN - sweet yellow corn and fine diced bell peppers tossed with salt, pepper, oil, and pureed chipotle peppers in adobo.
GREEN BEANS - simmered with garlic, honey, and cream. topped with sliced almonds and sourdough bread crumbs
VEGETABLE BEEF BARLEY SOUP - ok i'm cheating. i'm buying this frozen from the restaurant supply store. it's finals week!
and for dessert?
STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE BARS
so basically it's a similar menu to my real thanksgiving dinner. the only differences are the green beans instead of pecan butter brussel sprouts, pot roast instead of ham, vegetable beef barley soup instead of smoked salmon corn chowder, and corn instead of salad.
can't wait!
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| here's a little back story, before i start with my post. a neighbor and childhood friend of mine recently got married. i haven't expressed my congratulations yet, probably due to the fact that everybody's doing it right now, and it would be similar to happy birthday wall posts on facebook walls in that it wouldn't mean much. however, i have been looking through her wedding photos like a true facebook stalker. in them, the couple is absolutely radiant in their happiness, and their excitement and hopefulness is quite touching.
on top of that, i've met my match. it's actually an existing friend of mine, who does not fit any of the characteristics of the guys i typically date, but has a perfect score on my "soulmate scorecard" (refer to previous post). definitely not an instant attraction, he's somehow burrowed his way into my heart. however, he's not sure we should be a couple. big surprise there. since our slow moving courting process started over a month ago, i've done some things that are very much not like me. i've let my guard down, allowing myself to say, feel, and do what i originally want to, without considering how it will make me look to him. after he expressed that he did indeed like me, but wasn't sure of our compatibility, i didn't write off the entire thing, nor did i make any effort to come out on top. i'm waiting it out, completely vulnerable and entirely scared. our first date is on sunday, with dinner and a goapele show at yoshi's. (yes, he loves neosoul, and was as excited about this show as i was). i'm very nervous.
moving on...
i'm very vocal and adamant about my life plans. after graduation in spring with a BS in Hospitality, Event and Tourism Management, along with my prior degree in Culinary Arts, i'm planning on moving to a globally known hospitality area, and working for a minimum of 1 year, before returning home and moving up the hospitality career ladder. oahu is at the top of my list, with taipei, miami, and seattle following. knowing i'm about to move away, i was not committed to entering into any real relationship. i fear that if something like this happens, i'll either move away, causing a fairly new relationship to fail, or i'll stay for him, and if the relationship does not work out, i'll blame him for hindering my success.
i also have no intention of getting married, or having children. i plan to own a restaurant, after working for years as a manager, then general manager of several restaurants. the field comes with instability, and it's possible i'll have to move constantly, which will cause even more strain for a serious relationship. even if i stayed in one place, with the long hours and stress, there's just no way for children to get involved. i'd be a terrible mother, never having time to cook them healthy home cooked meals, drive them to basketball practice, or help with homework, after working 60+ hour weeks.
but i think i have these lofty plans, because i'm not satisfied with what i've done with my life thus far. i feel like there's something for me to prove, to myself and to everyone who has either doubted or believed in me. i don't want to let any romantic feelings get into the way of me being content in my success.
but sometimes i wish there was a reason for me to break these plans. i wish the right guy would make me reconsider moving. i wish he'd support me, and make me realize that i'm important. that i'm good at what i do, and i don't need to prove anything to anyone. i wish i could find someone worth disregarding what i've been planning for so long. someone who i would want to marry and have children with, even if it meant sacrificing a few of my life goals, and be happy doing so.
turns out i'm not that tough. i'm actually a big softie... who will likely end up crying, and moving to hawaii after getting my heart broken. =/
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| here's the ultimate description of someone i'd be head over heels for, long term. feel free to roll your eyes all you want. or stop reading... sure.
ORRRR, enjoy the light reading!
Are you hot, in an unconventional way?
mostly meaning, i don't really care for abercrombie boys, or football players, that kinda thing. i find engineers to be super sexy, and gamers (who shower, of course) to be the cream of the crop. style wise, i'm gaga for a dude that can pull of dorky clothing, ie: suspenders, thick framed glasses, sweater vests.
Are you good at stuff*?
there's an exception on this one. they have to be stuff that i'm not good at. yeah, i want the guys i date to be good at things, but i don't wanna feel like i'm constantly competing with them, or that one of us ever gets shown up. so basically, a guy can be a musician, but not a singer. if he could dance but not expect me to, that'd be great. oh, and ideally, he'd be really active... not necessarily a jock, but active in general.
Do you make suggestions?
following the question, "what do you feel like doing today?", there should be a response. here are some examples: 1)wanna watch ninja assasin?? 2) i feel like going to the park and watching a random little league baseball game! 3) hit up the farmers market!
ok, so it doesn't have to even be that exciting. suggestions can even be: 1)cook dinner, or 2)curl up on the couch with a movie. i just want a suggestion. "whatever you feel like doing, baby", is the wrong answer. obviously if i had an opinion on what i wanted to do, the question would be "wanna get/do/watch <blank> tonight?" even if i think the suggestion is totally stupid, i still like that an effort is being made.
Do you have different activity moods?
sometimes i like going out and getting crazy! and sometimes i feel like being a homebody. i want someone who is the same way, even if it means that sometimes our moods conflict, and i'm staying home while he's going out with his friends, or vice versa.
Do you like PDA?
no, not the obnoxious kind. the cute kind, like holding hands, or kisses on the cheek. yeah, i like it too.
Are you not a jackass?
don't embarrass me in public. i don't like it. be sociable, but not a jackass. thanks.
Do you like doing at least some of the same things as me?
i like karaoke (no, you don't have to sing), going to r&b/neosoul shows at preferably smaller venues, music in the park, christmas in the park, going out to eat, watching movies. i want someone who likes doing at least half of those things, and would want to do it with me.
i think that's it.
so here's the checklist:
1.hot, in an unconventional way (nerds get extra points)
2.good at stuff i'm not good at
3.make suggestions
4.have different activity moods
5.like cutesy PDA
6.sociable, but not jackass
7.like doing some of the same things as me
how do you fare in my soumate-ness?
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| girls hear boys whining about it all the time. their girlfriends can't accept that they're seemingly uncaring slobs who forget anniversaries/birthdays, and hate the opera, and are always trying to mold them into metrosexual, preppy patrons of the arts. the girls say they're attracted to the guys because of who they are, but their actions completely contradict this claim!!! wah. seriously.
guys complain all the time about how girls don't really like them, but are merely trying to mold their clay bodies and attitudes into what they want them to be. they don't want to be their girlfriends' pet projects anymore! but has anyone considered that guys do the very same thing to girls? do you hear girls complaining about it? less likely. well, i'm going to do it in this post. why? because i'm tired of guys being into me for certain qualities, then pressuring me to give those up. they say they like me because i'm independent, low drama, have my own scheduled obligations and friend outings, and that i'm real, and won't bullshit them if they're being an idiot. OH? REALLY?
jennlin issue #1: guys want to make me more of a damsel in distress.
exhibit A: i tell a guy i'd recently started seeing that i hate it when guys coddle me. he said he understood. apparently he didn't, because he REFUSES to let me pay. even after my angry insistence that i like to pay half the time. he also always opens my car door. yes, i sound like a bitch for saying this, but he doesn't ever let me open my own car door. even if it takes an EXTRA long time to go anywhere, and is completely impractical. he parked next to a fire hydrant across the street from my house so that i wouldn't just jump into his car. he parked the car, and blocked my way, so he could open my car door. are you serious? and when i reach over to open the door for him, he freaks out and practically yells at me for doing it. i think his exact wording was "a man's only real purpose in life is to be good to women". allow me to roll my eyes, and put you on call block.
jennlin issue #2: guys want me to be more clingy (WHAT? for real??)
exhibit B: i meet dude at happy hour. we go on a few dates (like 3). he says he wants to go to sushi in alameda, but there has to be a night where we're both not working. we plan for a saturday, but come friday night, my boss decides he needs me to work saturday, which was a possibility i'd already warned him about. i send the following text message: "hey. my boss wants me to work tomorrow. i'm sorry"(7pm) he responds immediately with "that's fine. we'll go another night". i put my phone away and continue my friday night shift, which ends at 2am. after work, i view my phone to see the following messages: "...uh... ok then"(10pm). "umm... goodnight? whatever" (11pm). confused to why he'd send me such random messages, i go home and don't even think twice about it. sunday night rolls along, and he calls me on my way home from a meeting. the conversation goes as follows:
me: hey what's up?
clingy dude: ...i dunno, what's up with you?!
me: nothing much. driving home from a meeting.
clingy dude: ...so why didn't you send a text message back the other night??
me: on friday? uh... i dunno i didn't think i needed to. i thought it was a "rhetorical" text.
clingy dude: whatever. you didn't even call me yesterday!
me: umm... yeah. i don't really have the time to call you everyday, or hang out everyday.
clingy dude: YEAH but how long does it take to return a text message?! 2 seconds?!
me: i didn't think the text message warranted a response!
clingy dude: it would have taken you no time to be considerate!
me: i have to do something right now. i'll talk to you later.
now, if i was in something seriously i might be down for more clingy behavior. however, this was 1.5 weeks after meeting him, and we could barely even classified as "dating". needless to say, we never went on that sushi night.
jennlin issue #3: guys want me to laugh at their stupid jokes. aka, guys want me to accept their jackassness.
exhibit A (again): his jokes aren't funny. he retells my favorite episodes of south park. you idiot. i already know what happens. obviously you missed the funniest parts, and are retelling the stupid ones. you apparently didn't get the most awesome humor. you're ruining my favorite show, you fucking jackass. here are two somewhat related conversations we had at the millbrae art and wine festival:
him: wendy testaburger is lame.
me: i don't think so. she's smart, and fairly mature, though she has her moments of ridiculousness. she likes stan still, even though he's always puking on her.
him: whatever! she's lame!
me: well, i think if there's any character in south park who's like me, it would be wendy.
him: WENDY IS LAME! from now on, every time something is lame, i'm going to say "that's so wendy!"
me: <stare down at my food, in order to ignore the huge jackass sitting next to me>
me: ooh a sweater made from baby alpaca wool. looks soft.
him: are you serious?! it looks like something eleanor roosevelt would wear!
me: <silence>
him: obviously you're not a history buff.
me: actually, i am. i just never paid attention to her wardrobe.
him: well, i said it because it looked like something an old person would wear, and she was old back then, and now she's DEAD, making her even older.
me: <silence, while distracting myself with the craft booths>
him: did that fly above your head, WENDY??
me: no. it just wasn't a good joke.
him: <deeply hurt silence>
on the car ride back, we were talking about the show "drawn together". he insisted the name of the pokemon cartoon on the show was "chu", even after i told him i was ABSOLUTELY sure it was not. i couldn't remember the name, so i fucking let him win the argument. the cartoon's name is Ling Ling, jackass.
i should move on.
jennlin issue #4: guys want me to yell at them.
exhibits C-J: half the guys i've dated (not serious boyfriends). i don't like fights. if something someone says or does hurts me, or makes me angry, i'll first decide whether or not they're worth the trouble. if they are, i'll calmly tell them how i feel, and politely request an apology. guys don't like this. they'll actually progressively get worse in behavior in order to incite a reaction from me. usually by then, i'll decide they're indeed, not worth the trouble. however, sometimes i wont, and they'll make me angry to the point where i'll yell just a little bit. after that, they seem happy to have gotten what they want, and the issue is resolved. is it stupid? totally. do i tolerate it? definitely not. if this is the case, i'll decide they're not worth the trouble. yes, i'm glad you caught that. the result is the same for these drama loving assholes. the curb is their friend. i mean, seriously? do we have to fight? can't i just cook you dinner and we watch a movie?
ok venting is done. i'm not changing who i am in order to be like the other girls. i actually have a very simple solution for all you boys who want me to be like them! GO DATE THEM INSTEAD.
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| since everyone else is doing it... and you may recognize some of the points. i've written about this before...
i've been smoking, on and off (mostly off), since i was 15. i turn 24 next month. i've never had a problem quitting, as long as it was what i wanted to do, and not something someone was trying to force on me. nonsmokers think that smokers smoke to look cool. or because they're addicted!!! OMG! neither for me. i smoke for one reason.
it's my only break. granted, i smoke very minimally... 1 or 2 a day, and about 3 days out of each week. however, when i do smoke, it's usually because i want to escape the situation i'm in, or i want a break from my silly girl issues. i suffer from anxiety, and when out socializing with my friends, it sometimes becomes too much. an easy solution to the problem is to step outside for a smoke, without everyone obnoxiously asking if i'm ok, or if i'm a snotty bitch.
aside from that, the cigarettes calm me down. i focus on my breathing, stare at the bright cherry working its way up, and listen to the faint crackling of the paper. when i'm smoking, my issues are on hold. i'm aware that i can achieve this with yoga or meditation, but right now, this is what works for me.
i won't smoke for the rest of my life. i also won't date a smoker, and won't be the smoker a nonsmoker dates... if that makes any sense... so i guess being in a relationship will get me to quit. maybe i'll just find another outlet. being a smoker is not something i am proud of, but it's something i am.
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